Showerthought: I finally stopped saying 'just' in my emails after a weird moment at a coffee shop

I was at a place called The Daily Grind in Omaha, trying to work on my laptop between hauls. This woman at the next table was on a video call, and I heard her say, 'I'm just following up,' and then she paused and said, 'Actually, scratch that. I *am* following up.' It was like a light went off. I looked at an email I was about to send to a new broker, and I had written 'just checking in' and 'just wanted to see.' I deleted every 'just' right there. It made my questions sound more direct and less like I was bothering them. I've been doing it for about two months now, and I swear the response rate to my cold emails is better. It's a tiny thing, but it changed how I talk about my own work. Has anyone else picked up a small habit like that from a random place?

3 comments

3 Comments

parkera222mo ago

Yeah, that part about not taking the blame for normal things is huge. @the_thomas has a point about a polite sorry sometimes helping, but I've seen it backfire. If you say sorry for a late reply when they were later, it can make the other person feel like they need to apologize too, and it gets weird. It frames the whole conversation around fault. Just stating the facts, like "I'm following up on my last email," puts you on solid ground. It's not rude, it's just clear. You stop handing over power you don't need to give away.

morganhill3mo ago

Notice how much weak language we use without thinking. We say "just" or "I'm no expert but" or "this might be a stupid question." It makes us sound unsure before we even start. I started cutting out "sorry" when I wasn't actually at fault, like "sorry for the late reply" when they were later. It stops you from taking the blame for normal things. That woman at the coffee shop was right, dropping those words makes you sound more solid.

the_thomas3mo ago

Totally agree on cutting the filler words. Though sometimes a polite "sorry" can smooth things over even if it's not your fault.