Update: a guy at a campsite near Bend swapped my $40 stove for his $15 one and I finally get it
He handed me this beat up little thing that had clearly been dropped a dozen times and said the fancy one just breaks in ways you can't fix with a rock. Used it for 9 nights straight in 30 degree weather and it fired up every single time, so what do you all actually carry when the weight doesn't matter?