the_nina•1mo agoMost Upvoted

The day I realized "ghosting" and "slow fade" are NOT the same thing

I got into it with my friend Rachel at brunch last Saturday. She said this guy she was seeing for 2 months just ghosted her. I asked when the last text was and she said "like 4 days ago." I told her that's not ghosting, that's a slow fade. She got SO mad. But I stand by it. Ghosting is when they vanish completely with zero warning after you've been dating for months. Slow fade is when replies get shorter and take longer over like a week or two. Has anyone else had this argument or is my friend just being dramatic?

2 comments

2 Comments

cooper.phoenix1mo agoTop Commenter

I used to be on your friend's side actually. I'd call any slow fading ghosting because it felt like the same kind of rejection. But then I had a guy literally disappear after 6 months of dating, no goodbye no nothing, and that was a completely different kind of hurt. The slow fade at least gives you time to see it coming and brace yourself. Now when a girl I'm talking to starts taking 12 hours to reply to my texts I just know it's fading out and I'm actually okay with it. It's not the same as waking up one day blocked on everything with zero explanation.

kelly_west741mo ago

Know exactly what you mean @cooper.phoenix, I've been the slow fader and the slow fadee and honestly the slow fade is way nicer because you can at least mentally pack your bags. Spent a whole week wondering if the guy who ghosted me got hit by a bus before i realized he just wasn't that into me. Not exactly a great feeling when your own brain has to write a more dignified ending than the person did.